you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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