After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I can't trust your balls anymore.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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