Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Randomize
