how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
