Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize