u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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