I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
