Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I bet he comes in French.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
