If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize
