Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I miss vodka workout Fridays
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
Randomize