People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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