and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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