clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
