he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
