Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Randomize
