Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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