she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I smell like Dick and happiness
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