i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
