you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
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