That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
You ate ashes out of my bong
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize