So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
