So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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