He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
