I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
