hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Randomize