I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
