Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
