I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
she told me i tasted like america
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
