my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Randomize
