She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Can you bring me the toilet please
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
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