We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Randomize
