I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
