i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
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