i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Randomize
