My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
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