yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
