please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
