"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Randomize
