I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Randomize
