My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
I'm really busy with my period
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