I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Randomize
