What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
