yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
why do cheetos always look like penises
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Randomize
