You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
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