was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
