Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
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