Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
If that was your dad, he is hot
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
