Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
It's blow job season.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
