Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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