Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
