Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
