I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
