i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
