How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
