can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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