he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
