so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
