I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize