sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
zippers are such a cool invention
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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