i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
