Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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