I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
