I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
